Heaven?

"I imagine heaven as a hotel lobby with a high ceiling and the Art of Fugue coming softly over the public address system...A place to which you bring nothing but an abstract kind of clothing and the memories inside you, the memories that make you" (25).

"Perhaps that is what the afterlife will be like: not a lobby with armchairs and music, but a great crowded bus on its way from nowhere to nowhere. Standing room only: on one's feet forever, crushed against strangers" (30).

Throughout the first thirty pages of Age of Iron, the narrator seems to contemplate what heaven would be like. She is dying of cancer and realizes she may be there soon. Her ideas on what heaven would be like seem to evolve over time. I feel that as I have grown and matured, my notion of heaven has also changed.

When I was younger I never really thought about the afterlife. I always assumed that it would be absolutely wonderful. I also always assumed that it existed. I never ventured too far from my everyday life in my thoughts. My life centered on the Yankees, the Islanders, my family and my friends. I just accepted the childish idea that heaven is this place in the clouds with angels that "good" people enjoyed when they passed on. I was never challenged to think differently.

However, as I grew older, I started to think outside of my comfort zone. I wondered about heaven. I wondered: What would it be like? Who would be there? Do people that aren't christian go to heaven? Where is heaven? How bad do you have to be to go to hell? Are the people in heaven fun? Do only holy, serious people get into heaven? (If this is the case, I'd have to agree with Billy Joel. "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints!" Maybe I should go to hell.) In all this confusion, I just wanted to understand what heaven actually was.

As I got older and found some answers, I came to the understanding or maybe misunderstanding I have now. In my opinion it does exist. Admission is relative. It depends when and where you lived. I also think the "requirements" are different for each person. According to the old cliche, "to more that is given more is expected." However, I still don't understand how everyone could all get a long. How can you not get bored being in the same place all the time? Is the food good? Do we have bodies or do we float around? Until I get there I guess I'll just have to use my imagination.